XD

baby baby. XD

				-Byung-				u look exactly the same
				ღº ıva:nna: ºღ				lol
				ღº ıva:nna: ºღ				same as in now?
				-Byung-				uhuh..since baby
				ღº ıva:nna: ºღ				lol

do I look the same?

I used to love cars when I was young.

And I still love em after a decade plus. =D


I really miss my younger days. Hehehe

Japan

yep that's where my 2nd sis is heading to now. =D


She's off to spend her honeymoon in Japan. *envious* I wanna go too!!!

Cherry blossoms! Bet she's gonna take lotsa pics with em.. *jealous*

Anyway, I'm assuming my sis to return to Perth looking like this.

Cute? XD

Unless of course she prefers the sexier look, then.. it'll be this.

Hubba hubba. XD

And I'm imagining my brother in law in for the Japanese costume look too.

Tada! =P Sorry but the only pic I managed to google up was this grandpa. =D

Again, unless my brother in law wants to be more stylish and smart looking, he'll look like this..

Samurai! XD



Okay my sis is gonna give me an earful when she gets back next week. Or next next week? I don't even know. XD But she better buy me yummy stuffs while she's there. Anything any colour but pink. And definitely no Hello Kitty for me. =P


Enjoy your honeymoon!!! =D

twinkle.

Met up with Steph, Kitty, Mark and Kitty's extremely hyper sister, Angel. (; We met up at Bing. Since I left the house kinda early so I was cruising around town doing nothing driving as slow as I can. XD I was about to reach Bing when Steph said meet up at Starbucks, KIA. So I made a turn around and was about to start my journey to the other end of Kuching when we decided Bing's better so I made a circle. XD I actually had fun.. Reached Bing at 8+ and waited in the car listening to songs and halfway falling asleep then they arrived about half an hour later. We had our orders taken and went to get a place to sit. It was actually empty inside. Hehehe. We sat there chilling and chatting and watching Angel's cute little antics. And she kept dancing around and we plan to bring her to Soho with us this coming Sat. Kit says no. Lol!! XD

The little 'angel'.

Cute right? *pic stolen from Steph's Blog. XD

Anyway, she was having fun dancing around after telling Steph and I some made-up fairy tale like stories with no endings. Haha! XD Then she took a fork and knife and started hitting around making music. Then she asked me to dance while she played and of course I rejected. =S So I suggested I play and she dance and she agreed and started dancing around singing and shaking her hot bums. XD Then Steph played. Then suggested she climb on the side table thing and dance. They told her it's a little stage for her to dance on. So I helped her get up and held her hands in case she falls down so she was dancing up there having fun. Lol. Kit your sis is fit for clubbing!! XD haha. We played hide 'n' seek under piles of cushion. Was about 9.45 when we left. Since I was actually feeling sick despite a late night drive, I had fun. =D Oh and little Angel nearly followed me home. She was holding my hand and following me to my car. Haha! And then she gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. Aww.. =D I miss her already. Hehehe. Anyway I was trying to get home asap since it was getting very quiet and those of you who know where my house is, yeah. Dark and quiet and a bit scary at times. =) Reached home at ten. Called him a while. Then had my sweet potato soup and watched DVD with mum before she fell asleep halfway and I came online. Went off at 1+ almost 2 and was about to watch movie when he called. As usual. XD So we talked and laughed and talked and laughed and talked and laughed and talked and laughed. Then we decided to get some sleep at 3 something. Didn't realize we were talking and laughing for more than an hour. XD And I'm gonna feel really bad if his bill goes sky high. =S Sorry dear.. Our convo got interrupted a while too. =.= And it was well.. A bit silly. But then I can't give my comment cause I don't wanna tell him what to do and what not to do. Nor do I want to control his life. =) Anyway we couldn't sleep so we continued texting till about 4+ and finally slept. Though, I think I fell asleep first. XD

I miss him lots. It's always nice to hear his voice before I go to sleep at night. =) And every morning when I wake up to wake him up for class. I'm the poor pitiful alarm. A bit dysfunctional atm. XD Keep falling asleep nowadays. Tired. =) Plus, still recovering. Was sick yesterday morning and the day before too. And still feeling sick now. Cross my fingers that I won't go throwing up today. =) Anyway, I had fun last night. Can't wait to meet up with Steph, Cher, Kitty, them all again. And this Sat we might just tear the clubhouse down. XD

If Tomorrow Never Comes...

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep. If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more. If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would videotape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day. If I knew it would be the last itme I could spare an extra minute or two to stop and say"I love you", instead of assuming you would know I do. If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, well I'm sure you"ll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away. For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything right. There will always be another day to say our "I love you's", And certainly there is another to say our "Anything I can do's?" But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget, Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight. So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day, That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish. So hold your loved ones close today, whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear, Take time to say "I'm sorry", "please forgive me", "thank you" or "it's okay". And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today. Dedicated to, Suleen Caryn Anthea Happy 'you' and of course, my readers. =)

birthday?

6 more days and my blog will be 2 years old.. =)

=)

Drove mummy to Kenyalang today. Bought DVDs to watch. Weeh!! =D And mummy bought two tops for me. XD *enthusiastic* Will close to buying more but restrained myself from wanting em. It's turning to be a habit now buying those that I will actually REALLY wear. =) I even walked away from this seablue dress that I wanted badly though the only problem was, the belt was too big. And it was the only one there. =S Anyway, I don't wear dress out often. After all, this is Kuching. =)

The top I bought. It's purple and gold stripped. Actually I don't know if it's purple with gold stripes or gold with purple stripes but since the inside is purple, I guess it's purple with gold stripes then. =)

Then we went hunting around for other things and mummy sought out this nice double top and got me to try it. It looked a bit weird so I tried it the other way. Without the inside singlet. And it looked much better so mum got it for me but no pics taken. =) Then we went to the bakery and bought some food and stuff and nothing much actually. Just an afternoon with mummy dearest. And went to Hock Lee with mum and dad just now. =) As usual, dad spent the whole erm.. 1 1/2 hours in the BigFresh, the Supermarket. =.= So mum and I just roamed around and we went to the shop boutique where I bought my prom dress back then. Tried on 3 dresses. But I still like the first one much. Again, was too lazy to take photos. =)

1st - Black, full length, simple front, length slightly shorter in front to reveal shoes if you have nice ones on, back cut low in a V and stringed with ribbons. It was nice but the only problem was my waist up was too small so it was loose and well.. I had a bit butt. =S

2nd - Purple, mid length, the skirt is shaped like erm.. ^? Simple but lovely low back pattern with lotsa strings and really nice if only my butt ain't that big. =)

3rd - Purple, full length, scoop-neck, lovely open bare back stringed with the material itself. And unfortunately, it was really tight fitting from head to toe and I felt like a mermaid walking on Grammy Awards' Red Carpet. No joke. Serious. =)

Anyway.. Didn't get to browse around much as the shops were all closing by 9. Too early. But it was REALLY empty too. Guess everyone's hanging out at Spring or Boulevard or maybe at the late night Giant sale? Who knows. =)

Nothing much to blog about but since my baby Chiwi asked me to. *loves* =) huggsss..!!

caryn.` says:
-.-
caryn.` says:
u always go t stuff to update bout one le..
caryn.` says:
ur photoshoping thingies
caryn.` says:
or..
caryn.` says:
erm
caryn.` says:
ur vainess
caryn.` says:
ahahah

=) hugs darling. miss ya heaps.



Nah!! Here's a vain pic of me.

No photoshop pictures so here's Easter bunny me. =)



Goodnight people. =)

I wanna squish you baby. =)
Mwah! Miss you tons.
Counting the days.. (;

petrified

Before any of you go ahead and read, I strongly advise you not to if you have fear of dreams like me.



**********************************************



When I woke up yesterday morning, I was rather sweaty and daunted. But I decided to shrug it off thinking it's nothing. But who knew, I woke up this morning feeling all the same again? The start of all this, the dream. In my dream, I was in my own home. But I wasn't alone. There were people. I can't remember who. But there were mainly 2 people with me. One was either my sister or a fren, and the other, was a weird all smiles girl. And I kept getting these chain letters that I've done nothing but thrown away each time. And finally, the stranger herself handed me another chain letter and written on it, a message that I'm about to die for ignoring those chain letters. And all I remembered was panicking and then I woke up and lay staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. I was horribly petrified. I thought it meant nothing and probably just a dream but it came again last night. And when I fell back to sleep, the next dream I had, it was like.. I was awake, and my soul was roaming around the house. What I remembered very well was this conversation.

Dad : She slept late again last night! When I woke up at 4 she was still awake.
Mum : *keeps quiet*
Dad : Ever since I bought her that laptop she's been sitting in front of it for hours till the wee hours of the morning.
Me : *annoyed* I WENT OFF AT LIKE 2?? AND I WAS IN MY ROOM READING THE WHOLE TIME AND I COULDN'T SLEEP AFTER THAT AND I WAS IN NEED TO GO TO THE TOILET!!

Funnily enough, I was ignored. In my dreams, my vision was misty, just a blur. It's like when you're looking through someone else's eyes. A misty blur. And throughout my whole stretch of random dreams, I was only in my house. Till I really woke up, my heart was already palpitating.

The last time I had a nightmare was about two years ago when someone gave me a Love VooDoo doll. Suleen, I'm sure you remember it very well. That doll was supposed to bring luck to my relationship. But never a believer of such dolls and stuff, I just dunked it in the drawer and ignored it. It was then, I started having dreams about a week or two later. In my dream, I was in my room. Sleeping. And when I opened my eyes, there was something at the corner of my room standing between the shelf and wardrobe. I can still remember the long black hair and the bloody red eyes staring at me. But it just stayed there watching me. What happened next, I do not want to remember. But the next night my dream took place at home again. I remember it well. I was in the bathroom and I flushed the toilet and suddenly everything started coming out of the toilet bowl. Fragments of human body parts. Mainly hands and legs and fingers and all I did was scream and kept flushing again and again but it just kept coming out. Then I woke up. And they were the worst nights that time. Then, I got rid of the doll. It was thrown into the river. That doll, was made of something like those straw leaves. If anyone watched the Japanese Hell Girl Anime cartoon before, they would get what I mean. And yes. That doll had no face whatsoever. All it had was a red string tied around the body. Freaky, yes?

These two dreams had no relation to the ones that I had the last two nights. But the last time I dreamt of death, I had it three nights in a row too. And I feared. Really did. I don't remember the sequences of which dream did I have first. But I remember there was one where I was in the graveyard and I saw my own tombstone. Engraved on it, I died on a Friday at 3:30pm. The second dream, I was walking along some beach. Funnily the beach had these high steps that will kill. If you fall off, you can't climb back up anymore. You'll just rot below and die. And the stupid thing was, I jumped. But I woke up before I landed. The last one, I just remember jumping off Chonglin Plaza. And again, I woke up before I died.

=.=

I have no idea whatsoever why I'm getting these dreams. All I know is, they're just dreams and they won't come true right? They're just dreams and they don't mean anything at all. Yeah. That's right. They're just dreams. Nothing but dreams. =)


Heck, I'M TERRIFIED TO DEATH HERE!!!!


I need help.. *prays*

momentary.

After all the drama that went on yesterday, I think my blog deserves some peace now. It's really a very childish thing to do. If you have any problem with my blogposts or problem with me, why can't you just come up to me face to face? Overall, you're just being rude coming to my blog and hollering foul languages and insulting people. And starting all this commotion here. And I'm regarding to the all started of all this '.' and 'Dan' drama. Since I already knew who was the one that came in last night and babbled about my ex, you're forgiven in a way that I can't really forgive you yet cause you really did hurt people's feelings. Moreover, you really hurt my boyfriend's feelings. How would you like me to call your boyfriend hideous as h*ll? That wouldn't be nice right? Especially if I don't know who you are. Therefore, it's advisable to not get involved and create more commotion in other people's blog. And he's in demand of an apology. To him. And to me. But I'm not gonna force anything out of it. I just hope that you won't repeat this again. Moreover, if you dislike my blog, I strongly advise you to stop reading my blog. Thank you.


*********************************************************************************


Back to my main reason for blogging tonight. (;


Someone's busy doing his essay right now. Tried to help him with researches and it really made me blur. I didn't understand a single sentence of the explanation of what he was looking for. Thus, I failed the research. =( And I feel awful for wasting his time looking at the websites I pasted to him. Sigh.

It's gonna be my last dance class tomorrow before I get my little holiday which will be starting on the 29th March - 8th April. =D And it's gonna be long enough for my ankle to heal. Being the usual clumsy person, I injured my ankle last week. Fully exhausted and sleep deprived, I totally ignored cushioning my jump and thus, landed on flat foot on straight leg and sending the goosebumps up my calves and then, I started limping. And I went back for class thinking it would be fine after some Perskindol. And I ignored it when I got home thinking I'm just getting muscle fatigue and a good sleep will help me feel better. Who knew, the next day I had to attend the Good Friday mass at Carmelite and it was packed full and I had to stand for 2 killer hours in my ballet flats. My feet were sweating and aching and I seriously felt a blister coming. Other than sweating like a roasted pig, I was trying to catch the wind every now and then. Which, I gave up later as it was pointless moving around so much causing myself to sweat even more than ever. =.= And I took the full blast on Saturday doing as many classes I can till I really got the pain and decided to wear my bandage. And I still had to drive home and the accelerator is on the right and my right ankle hurts like crazy. My left ankle is much better. Maybe due to the fact that I placed more weight on my right foot when I landed. *regret* =( Then, I took Sunday off lying in bed till 1.. And my day wasn't smooth at all after that. =(

Monday, I went out in the evening. Went to Suleen's house first and waited for her to get ready which took about an hour. X_x" Then we went to get something done. Thennnn.. I drove to our destination. The Spring! Since I couldn't exactly think of a good place to go to. After walking around.. Eating crispy spring roll.. *yummy* Happy finally came at about 8 something. Then I got a text from Steph that she's going to pick Cher who decided to come. XD And they arrived at about 8.30. With Justin. After sitting around the food bazaar a while we moved to Food & Tea cause I was super thirsty and there was nothing much in the food bazaar too. So we just sat around laughing and chatting and talking about unrelated topics and had our orders taken. Managed to crack cold jokes too which only ended up with me laughing like crazy. XD *embarrassed* By 9.30, I finished both 'jars' of Watermelon juice. The late comer, Aaron Chan, finally arrived at nearly ten. And they took last orders as they were closing soon. After checking in our bill and stuff we went to validate our parking tickets. And we stood outside getting some fresh air and talking and laughing.

Suleen : Come Saturday we all go out. Go play. Go eat. Go clubbing.
Me : Sat I have class!! Oh wait! I have hols starting from Sat!! Whee!! Let's go out!! WOOOO!!!!
Suleen : Yeeehhhhh.. Can go clubbing.
Aaron : She[me] goes clubbing!?!?
Me : =/ Excuse me!!!
Aaron : She knows how to club??
Cher : I can't imagine her clubbing!
Me : *ahem*
Suleen : Wakakaka. But she doesn't get drunk. Alcohol has no effects on her. But if you give her Shandy and stuff then she might.
Cher : Eh like Kit.. She can't drink mineral water..
Steph : Hahaha mineral water is like alcohol to her..


And again, we changed topic. Our topics were really random that night. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. =) Anyway.. I'm gonna go off now. Nothing much to blog about seriously. My blogging mood has gone poof after being spammed. The most annoying thing ever is when people talk bad about you, spread rumors about you, and then everyone starts thinking it's true and looks at you with utter disgust not knowing the truth.

'and i knopw for a fact a hell lot of people are always talking about how she's always bragging abougt how rich her boyfriend is'

So you see. It's other people doing the talking about me. And obviously I had nothing to do with it. And to be honest, I've not socialized much for the past few months. I communicate to a maximum of 5 different people a day and that includes besties, boyfriend and parents. So I don't get where this whole how I brag to others.

And the words 'stupid ah lian ness' is still ringing in my head. =.=

Fine lor. Since yoo say I'm so ah lian I show my ah lian-ness to yoo lah. Okay or not? Why? Cannot hah? Cause yoo are more qualified to be an ah lian ha? Okay lah. I let yoo have it lor. So chio hor? Talking in ah lian language. I feel a bit like Xiaxue leh. A bit cute oso hor? Just like me lor. Super cute ah. Yoo should see my face that day at Spring hah. I stand behind that Easter wabbit cardboard thing ah. Sibeh cute yoo know. Then my friend help me take picture oso ah. So chio lor. I saw many people looking at me but then I don't feel shy oso lor. Cos ah, I am veli cute like the wabbit lor so what for feel shy hor. Then ah I got eat this super nice pok piah thing that my friend tell me lor. Sibeh nice. It is veli crispy lor. Inside ah, got all the brown brown crispy thing I bite oso got sound one. Then I think I eat veli cute oso lor. Cos the ah beng in front of me keep looking at me lor. I paiseh a bit but then after a while ah he go away liao. Why hor?? I thought he like me leh. See me so cute. Why dowan me?? Simthia leh. Nevermind lah. He not so cute oso lor. A bit remind me of Stephen Chow lor. I like lor. Yoo see ah, he act in a lot of movies lor. I always like to watch. I see him veli happy yoo know? My heart jump veli fast everytime. When I see him sad in movie my heart oso break lor. So can say I heart him a lot oh.



Before I explode, I am definitely NOT an ah lian. And I am about to barf. But like what he said, ignore. (;



Goodnight!

Tagged by Doreen.

The rules are easy, just post 10 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 10 people as many people as you want and force them to post this meme on their blogs.

1. Meeting up my old clicks.
2. Dancing.
3. Shopping with mummy.
4. Playing the piano.
5. Cramming myself with home made egg tarts. =D
6. Mummy's butter shortbread cookies. *drools*
7. Blogging.
8. Reading.
9. Getting sweet dreams. Unfortunately, not last night. Nightmare. =(
10. Lastly, talking to him, hearing him laugh, laughing at him, laughing with him. =)

Tagging: Suleen, Abigail, Amber, Cherling, Cyn, Godric, Kris, Steph and whoever else who wants to do this.

My gosh. PLEASE!!!!

1) Dan
how can i "stop coming" if she's so frequently going into my friend's blogs and bragging about her hideous-as-hell boyfriend and so lamely fishing for comments? 27 Mar 08 00:52

- So tell me, whose blog[s] did I ever enter and brag about my 'you-think-hideous-as-hell' boyrfriend? Again, STOP insulting him. And asking for what comments? YOU tell me.


2) Dan
it's disgusting,, to say the least 27 Mar 08 00:52

- You wanna know what's disgusting? That cowards like you actually exist. That's the most to say.


3) Dan
and there's no way in HELL am i going to tolerate her stupid ah lian ness 27 Mar 08 00:53

- Noone ever asked you to tolerate me. And heck, if I'm an ah-lian, you're a creep. Having to tolerate with your stupidity. And for goodness sake, stop insulting or calling others stupid or whatsoever!


4) Dan
and i knopw for a fact a hell lot of people are always talking about how she's always bragging abougt how rich her boyfriend is 27 Mar 08 00:53

- Excuse me, I've NEVER EVER bragged about my boyfriends. Prove one post or tag or whatsoever that I did.


5) Dan
i'm glad that kim seng dump her 27 Mar 08 00:53

- Honestly, I didn't get dumped. More to say, I broke his heart.


6) Dan
he deserves better 27 Mar 08 00:54

- Correction, me AND him deserves better. To make things fair.




Honestly, get a grip of yourself. You're just horrifyingly bored of your own life. Maybe you think it's fun, or 'cool' or whatsoever to just 'attack' a person this way. You're just being lame yourself. And you have no right or whatsoever.

EXCUSE ME.

Dear spammer, no matter how much you hate me, I know that you're just the same person who came in to ask about the photo editing, about my being lack of attention, AND, oh so recently came to bug my life again. Let me clear your statements for you.


1) .
OI PLS LA THE CYN FROM KL DISLIKE YOU LA 23 Mar 08 21:03

- Excuse me, but I never recall mentioning that Cynthia likes me whatsoever. I just happened to mistook two different people with the same name.


2).
YOU THINK EVERYONE LIKESS YOU. YOUR LIKE LACK OF ATTENTION. 23 Mar 08 21:03

- I never said nor think that everyone likes me. That's your own piece of rubbish. And it seems like you like me since you're always appearing in my blog. And I don't need attention from anyone. This is my blog, my freedom to post. But somehow, you seem to give me so much attention yourself huh?

`ivanna*.
nobody asked your opinion and i never said i wanted attention. you may leave and mind your own business. 23 Mar 08 21:28

- And you never replied. Why I wonder. Maybe cause it's true I never said anything about what you said about me. Oh well.

suleen
and to the unknown who suddenly bothered to speak up and acting so coward by not using ur own name, GET A LIFEEEE!!!! 24 Mar 08 03:50

- Thanks babe. (;


Thus you decided to change your name because you were called a coward for not daring to use your own name. You decided to take the name 'Dan'. Shall we continue? =)


3) Dan
dude, i think you should SERIOUSLY stop trying to fish for comments 26 Mar 08 23:26

- Eh? Since when did I fish for comments eh? Do you see any sentences or phrases at the end of my posts asking for comments?? Nor, do you see anyone giving me comments?? Dude, you should seriously get your eyes checked.


4) Dan
it's fucking ridiculous and very obivious to the point of being lame 26 Mar 08 23:26

- I don't get what's so ridiculous and obivious obvious what's so lame. Except you being ridiculous and obviously lame.


5) Dan
and with your stupid dressing room pictures only showcase that you're too fucking cheap to buy the clothes you wear 26 Mar 08 23:27

- Why do you bother about my dressing room pictures so much?? 'Showcase'?? Nice word you use, though, the right word would be 'show' without the 'case'. And me, cheap?? *Correction, the right word would be stingy. Excuse me, but it's called spending money wisely and buying what's necessary. Yeah so I don't think I'm being cheap stingy. But thanks for your unnecessary concern of how poor I am that I'm unable to afford any of those things that I never came to purchasing.


6) Dan
oh, did i mention that your boyfriend is SO not a korean? stop bragging about that to people because it'll only serve to embarrass yourself. as that is a really obvious lie 26 Mar 08 23:29

- Now you get on my nerve. EXCUSE ME BUT MY BOYFRIEND IS DEFINITELY PURE KOREAN. I'm definitely not lying. Therefore, I'm not embarrassing myself. Because everyone here knows that I'm definitely not lying that my boyfriend is Korean because they've seen it on Friendster, and his account. Goodness, JUST ASK ANYONE HERE! In my opinion, you're just jealous. Either, your boyfriend, if you have any, is not Korean and you're just wanting to have a Korean boyfriend too. Or, my boyfriend just looks better than yours. Oh, and you should mind your manners. You're not only accusing me of a liar, but also insulting my boyfriend.


7) Dan
hell, he looks indonesian, actually 26 Mar 08 23:30

- I don't get how someone so fair can look Indonesian. Nor someone with small Korean eyes can be Indonesian. Just stop insulting others.


8) Dan
*shudders* 26 Mar 08 23:30

- Shuddering at your own cold words? Or shuddering cause of fear?



Anyway. Would you just PLEASE stop disturbing me. If you hate me so much, why don't you just STOP coming into my blog? I don't need people like you around stating stupid facts about me. You're just trying to make a scene here to gain your own attention. For goodness sake, this is MY life and I do what I want! You don't have a reason to come in here and turn into a bug! And by the way, MIND YOUR LANGUAGE!!!!!

*tap fingers*

I just changed my header. *points up* =) Took some time to edit but at least now I don't have to rely on Powerpoint, always giving me a blur finish. (; Anyway, been listening to the same song for the last hour?? Maybe more?

Anyway, I just wanna say, I had one mission done last night. With Suleen's company. Thanks babe. =) I seriously don't think I could have done it alone even though I know I can. I've been hanging on longer than I should have. Even though the thoughts are gone, the love is gone, the feelings are gone, there's nothing left, but I guess everything happened for a reason and there's a lesson behind each and every. And keeping the things are not going to help me in life. Plucking up the courage, I emptied my closet of his things. Just last week, I 'detoxed' my laptop free of memories. =) About the same time last year, I woke up feeling wrong. Only to hear from my dad that my things had been returned and he talked to my dad about things. Coming to think of it, trying to make another good impression of himself. Yeah. He was innocent then. But the revenges he did, I guess I just can't forgive him yet. Been fooled twice. Broken my own words twice. I guess I'm just not that idiot anymore. And you thought that I would forgive you days before Valentine's? Trying to get your pathetic sympathy from me? I didn't pay any heed to your message. I couldn't trust you anymore. And I was right not to, you came and attacked my blog then. You're downright pathetic. We've both made mistakes and I've learnt from mine to not repeat. But you? Revenge was your best way. The only reason I ever stayed back even though things kept going wrong, maybe because I was blind and couldn't see who you really are. You always bring up the past even though the numerous times you promised not to. Full of lies. Conceited and self-centered. That's who you really are. Yeah. You're always right. I'm always wrong. And you wanna know the funniest thing? I used to look up to you. You were tall. But now, I'm looking down on you. I don't get why I'm bothering to crap here. Maybe cause I can't stop detesting you more and more every time. Revenge may be sweet, but definitely not in a relationship. It's your own lost. And I never actually bothered whether you care enough to read my blog. I've had enough from you. While doing this, I'm actually laughing myself off.

To sum it all, I've let go long ago.

I've moved on.

And I'm happy right now.

And like you've always said,

I deserve someone better than you.

I guess I should have listened to you and walked away back then.

My bad.

Oh well. =)




The first thing on my mind when I wake up.
The last thing on my mind before I fall asleep. (;

Miss you dear..
20 more days till the 2nd.
25 more days till your big day.
26/27 more days till I get to be in your arms again. (;





Dear readers, ignore the.. er.. random babbling above. (;
Too many things on my mind now.
But the cherry on top is still my korean guy. (;


Goodnight.


`loves.

boredom

I am soooo bored. bored enough that i just painted my nails gold. =X


(;


Anyway, can say, my day wasn't good. =( No. I did not spend my day sulking or being emo or anything. Actually I feel stressed. Stressed with several A LOT of things. Frankly, to sum it up, I'm not exactly in a good mood. Whatever it takes, I'm just not in a good mood for anything. And this is really bad. =(

smiles.

and they say all that glitters are gold. =)
I'll say all that glitters are having my two besties.

Okay okay.
AND my boyfriend. =)

=)

I guess I've really changed over the years. =) Can't say it's been bad. A total loss of about 13-14 kgs. I can't say anything more. Though, I still have to live with my big butt. =(


Nothing much for now. Just some pictures. =)

2006. My fatness. Not chubby. FAT. =)

Early 2007. Changed a lot right?

Late 2007. Slightly fatter. I gained some weight then. Hehe.

Only to lose them again. =) Due to rehearsals and practices dancing at least 20 hours a week nonstop. =)

Just last month. All those workout, dancing, pays off well. =)


Up till today, I'm pleased to be me. BUT I STILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY BIG BUTT!!!! =(


But I'm still happy with life. After all, 'To know me is to love me..' - quoted from Sunset Secret books. =)


That's all for now. Will blog about the outing later. =)



Keeps me warm when I'm cold..

Not a single second's passed by without me missing you.. =)

Friends are Forever.

Suleen Chong @ Zhang Zhi Ling ... 0207

I've not you since like primary 1?? *calculates* I've known you for about 1 1/2 decades now.. =D Babe you're one of my besties and you're also my baby boohs and me being your princess boohs [embarrassing to call myself 'princess'].. Anyway.. We've shared HEAPS of memories and moments together.. Considering we're halves of each other and sat next to each other and rather glued together.. We've got our own lives now and our own paths but our friendship still remains.. (; There were times when we would squabble in school, in class out loud and create a lil scene and our fellow classmates will await to see what's going to happen.. Then we'll start writing letters apologizing and throwing them over each others' head as we used to rest our head on the table with our back facing each other then.. Hehehe. We spend most of our time sleeping in class.. Else, busy texting or eating or just gossiping or just disturbing other students or cam-whoring. =D Honestly, we've had a lot of CRAZY moments together.. We used to skip all those seminar talks and hide behind chairs and tables in class.. XD Our friendship has grown big and it's still growing. =) No doubt, even though we don't get to see each other everyday, we don't talk everyday, we're still and always will be the best of friends. =) Each bittersweet memories between us are not only remembered but treasured and will be cherished for a lifetime. =) Babe, you mean a lot to me being my bestie and always watching out for my back and cheering me up when I'm down and I'm always being there for you too. Through thick and thin mostly. =) And I darn well miss those times when we carpooled and we'll take turns calling random drivers our boyfriends.. I miss playing that game.. The 'NEHH YOUR BOYFRIEND!!' or 'EH LOOK YOUR CAR!!' XD The memories.. Ahhhh.. =) Words can't describe how much I love having you in my life.. You've been a one true friend and I love you heaps. *hugs and kisses*



Caryn Ling Zhia Lin ... 1402

Born on Valentine's Day.. DARLING YOU'RE SOOOO LUCKY!!!! You came to part of my life in Primary 6.. You had that cute short bobby hair style and those pinchy pinchy rosy red cheeks.. XD I shall remember.. We weren't close then.. We were sorta class rivals that's what I remember.. And we started growing in each other's life towards the end of Form 3.. And we spent form 4 getting to know each other.. and by form 5, we were besties.. Three of us, you, nn, n I.. CLITS.C[o].. We loved to hang around doing nonsense then.. Suleen was always the blur one.. You were always the quiet sensible one.. And I was always the crazy up to no good one.. =.= Hahaha! Can't believe we manage to be such besties due to our differences.. =) You started at LKW then and I remember going all the way to Travilion in the afternoons to hang out with you after your class almost everyday. Wait, actually it was everyday. Sometimes, you would come down to my mum's office then we'll have lunch together and sometimes you'll skip class and we'll spend time doing your assignments and then walk to TJ to window shop. =D Remember how we said we were gonna sing Avril Lavigne's song Girlfriend at 'someone'?? XD hahaha that was funny. And how we used to do funny things and stupid things together. And helping you with your assignment, the photoshoot which got rejected by your stupid lecturer cause it was blur. =.= You still haven't send the rest to me yet!!! =D I'm waitinggg.. hahaha anyway.. Day before you left, we met up.. Honestly, I nearly cried but it wouldn't be right to make a scene in Coffeebean right? =) The next day, Valentine's.. you left. in the morning. Suleen and I missed you by minutes due to lotsa pit stops. Last minute rushes. =( And I've been missing you ever since. And I finally got to meet up with you and hugged you once again two weeks ago on my trip to KL. =D Can't believe how much I've actually missed you. Having to hug you again after 2 months of missing my bestie, I nearly cried. Missed you so much. And still missing you darling. My wiwiwawaboobanessessesses. XD *hugs and kisses* Love you lots!



Anthea Lee Shu Sze ... 0604

Coming to think of it, I've not known you for that long. Actually only since Form 3.. Got to actually know who you are in PBK.. =D Form 4 we became close good friends.. In our very own circle then.. And we loved calling you Dorry or Fishy.. Why, you're always blur and sometimes a little forgetful just like Dorry. XD And I can still remember this conversation I had with you very VERY well!!

*arrives school, sees Anthea coming out of Bio lab, our classroom*
Me : SHITFACE!!!!
Anthea : Kanasai la u! Cik ca pek ca kio lang shit face..
Translation : Shit la u! Early morning call people shit face..

HAHAHAHAHA!!! =P Don't mind the abusive language k? XD Anthea, I bet when you read this you'll go 'kanasai la u ibanna!' That's right! Anthea never spells my name right!! Despite how long she's known me.. She still calls me Ibanna.. And calls me Banna.. Haha but I'm used to it and I love her for it.. Oh and remember we started calling you Sushi?? Hahaha and during that education fair thing that guy from which college was it again?? Edwin his name right?? He kept calling you sushi too! Hahahaha! Eh Fish, GET A BOYFRIEND QUICK!!! XD Just kidding just kidding.. Anyway, you've been a GREAT friend.. And you're always on my mind.. Love you lots too.. *big fat hugs and extra sloppy kisses* =P Don be so "ego" and say I love to kiss you again k? XD



Happy Wong Chin Sing ... 0101

The oldest and wisest among us all. =) That's our mummy!She's always there whenever we need her and always ready to lend a hand, a shoulder, a word of advice. The most studious among us, always achieving well. Proud of my 'mummy'. XD Happy, I've known you since form 1.. We were great friends then.. And you always had to put up with my rapid change of moods.. Sometimes sad, sometimes happy and the next minute I'm angry. You were always there to help me and to listen to me.. You've been marvelous. =) Even though we're not close and we don't spend time together much anymore, we're still great friends.. =) Sorry I've never been able to catch up with you much.. Guess I've been rather selfish minding my own life too much at times then. But I still catch up with your life in your blog. =) Though, everytime I try to tag, it's sooooo SUSAH!!! =.= Anyway, I really miss you. Miss hanging out with you. Will call you up sometime soon k? My ballet schedule is rather hectic now and I only have Mondays and Tuesdays off now. =( Hopefully, I'll get a break and spend time with you guys again really soon. =D Can't wait. Love you eh mum. =D *hugs and kisses*



There you go. That's my friendsfamily. =)

Our family portrait. =)



I miss spending time with you guys.. =(
Can't wait till Caryn is back and we can hang out as 5 again now.. =)
Hope you guys are doing fine, studies, life, love. =)
And.. I'm always here if any of you need anything.. =)


Friends are Forever.


♥♥♥


lotsa love,
ღº ıva:nna: ºღ

(;

HAPPY EASTER!!!!!! =)

Random picture from Google. Giant chocolate eggs!!! I had one of those in 2004.. My bro in law bought it for me and it came all the way to Kuching from Darwin , Aus. It was yummy, but fattening. VERY.. fattening. =)


Anyway..

Staying at home whole day hasn't been peaceful. Each time I leave my room, I'm forced to enter my room and stay in there again. Been nagged almost whole day. I've hardly spoken 5 sentences at home today. Oh well.. Mummy made egg tarts and shortbread cookies.. =D I am about to get fat now. XD I ate 5 egg tarts yesterday. During lunch break from dance, I drove all the way to the bakery just to buy the egg tarts. The egg tarts in the bakery downstairs looked....unsatisfying.. Kekeke. Anyway.. *stretches* Life is good.. Blessed.. =) Anyway.. Nothing much to blog about now.. Miss my besties.. Can't wait to reunite with Caryn again.. Darling faster come back!!! XD



About the previous post,
I'm fine now.
Sometimes a girl just thinks too much.
And it's not like we can help it most of the time.
Therefore, thanks for all the tags. =)
This time I cross my fingers.
It's DEFINITELY the LAST emo post.
And if I break it,
anyone,
feel free to strangle me, shoot me, kill me. XD

.......

I'm speechless nevertheless.
Can't even find the perfect word to describe what I'm feeling.
The picture is enough to describe.
No I'm not gonna cry anymore tears.
But heck, it's tearing me into pieces.
No, don't ask me what's wrong.
I can't tell why myself.
Maybe I should stop poking around.
It's only giving me thoughts and stupid conclusions.
I should trust my own heart and let it be the judge.
Not my eyes, nor my brain.

ahh!!!

suleen.. i'm still thinking of it.. i know i know.. it looks so fake.. should I!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? =S

enthusiastic!

That gold dress is currently in my possession now. Was having a hard time making decisions in the fitting room then. Hehehe. But I got it! =) Anyway went to Spring with mum. Didn't do much there. Went to Food & Tea and had the usual beef sandwich and beef toast again. Addictive. Juicy beef. Yum! =)



It's elegant!! =D But expensive.. Though, RARE!! I'll consider. =D



Ballet tomorrow. Don't know how I'm gonna sleep now. Little girl Crystal kept hogging me and taking pics with my phone last week I didn't get to sleep a wink at all till she went home about an hour later. X_x"


Introducing.....


CRYSTAL!!! She kept taking pictures of me and asking to take pictures with me and then she would grab my hand and drag me around. She's cute and really naughty! And cause I wanted to sleep and she wanted me to play with her she actually climbed the chair and stood on the window's rail. =.=

Hehe anyway. Nothing much to blog about. Just updating. Class tomorrow. Then church at 8pm. Aduh. Hope there'll be place to sit. I stood outside Carmelite for like 2 hours today. And good thing my ankle actually feels better already. I could hardly walk yesterday. And after I came home from church last night, the moment I entered my room and laid on my bed, my ankle hurt like mad and the pain was all the way to my knee and I was close to tears. =( Hope it'll be fine. Been spraying it with Perskindol so yeah it should be fine by tomorrow. =)

Ciao!!


`loves.



I miss my boyfriend.




I miss my best friends.

Caryn looks like she's gonna cry. Aww..... =D



Till then,
Sayonara.
Adios.

depressed.

i know i darned well promised that there will be no more emo posts.
but i'm just darned well upset and depressed right now.
my tears are threatening to flow and i don't want them to.
cause if they do, i know i won't be able to control them.
the last time i cried, baby cradled me close.
the last time i cried, it was my last night in kl.
the last time i cried, baby cheered me up.
but if i cry now, he's not here to cheer me up. =(
sometimes i feel all alone and unheeded.
sometimes i feel left out and sorrowed.
and i just don't know where to go and what to do.
sometimes all i wanna do is break down and cry.





this is just how i feel right now. =(

a picture that has no beginning and no ending with no certainties and vividness.



but could you tell from my looks?
my happy face?
my gay laughter?
that bright smile?
what's hidden underneath?

(;

just blogging for fun. edited my cheeks.

originally. this is a really old picture. I was supposed to be studying. XD
Hehehehe. My face was so chubby fat back then. And it's still chubby. Ask that boyfriend. Always calling me chubby. Aduh.. I know very well that I'm fat.. (; Anyway, I miss him.


yes..him. =) sleep tight baybeeehhhhh!! *kiss kiss*

*envious* his eyelashes are super long. =S
Special.. super special. MWAHH!!!! (;






HEEHEEHEE!!!!!!!!!!!
I just went to visit 'her' blog.
And that post is long gone. =S
Kiasu maybe?
Who knows who cares. (;
The truth lives and evolves around me.
You both were a couple of lies and rubbish.
Ah let's not get me started.
Honestly I'm able to spend an entire blog post on it.
But I'm not gonna waste my time on nonsense anymore.

Life is already good and close to perfect.(;


Goodnight! (;

=)

Other than spending my time flying..

Keeping myself busy dancing..

I've been missing and thinking of the boyfriend most. I guess being distant is just making my heart grow fonder. Though, we still see each other on webcam and talk more than 3 times a day, even pictures can't speak the moments we shared. Always manifesting on my mind, even words can't describe how much I miss you. But like you've told me before, patience pays off. So I'm waiting. It's just another killer month to go. And I'm still upset about when your holiday starts. Was hoping but then.. Sigh. Think I'll just go over and kidnap you back here with me and hog you and keep you captive till I'm pleased which I don't know when. =P Nah.. Baby's gotta study. Hehehe. But sounds like a good plan, no? Aww.. Dear you just popped my bubble by saying no. =( Again, I'm just pulling legs. (; miss you, my boyfriend!!




Anyway I found some pictures. =D Our final Graded Examination. Grade 8.

Juliana ; Marciana [seated] ; Me

Pleased after exam ended.


Now I'll be facing my Vocational Exams for Intermediate and Intermediate Foundation. =S As much as I want to have it in KL, but after listening to how it's like, I feel like biting my tongue. X_x Guess dreams do crash. Well, definitely not my dream to keep dancing and following the beat of the music. (; Furthermore, I'm dying to start my CBTS course next year. It's Certificate in Ballet Teaching Studies. I'm hoping to go further. But till then, plans are unspoken of yet. =) Anyway, time for bed. Gonna kill my boyfriend then and there for not sleeping last night. =D




KIDDINGGGG!!!!!!! (;

Goodnight peeps.


*hugs*


The post has ended,
you may all retreat to your beds. 'ta!

=)

I got hungry cause I decided not to go out. And baby said he will keep me company online and chat the night away. Then, I decided to cook some noodles. =)


yummy, no?

Prawn and egg and curry powder.

It was so yummy I craved for more but I decided not to. It looks kinda dry but it's really soft and coated with egg and yummmyyyyy cause it had curry powderrrr.. gaaahh!! I'm making myself hungry. =(


Anyway, baby decided to sleep out on me. =( Was calling him for the last 3 hours?? And he finally woke up telling me he'll go online later then he went back to sleep. =( =( =( Oh well.. baby slept at 6.30 what to do.. Naughty boy. Hehehe kidding dear. Mwa mwah!! Oops baby just called. Hehehe.


Miss watching you fall asleep on me.. hehehe cute.
And I can't forget what you said to me when you were sleeping.
It upset me that time but now it makes me laugh.
And you just heard me laughing at it again.
And your response? "Aduh.. Have to go through this again.."
Hehehe dear I can't help it!!
It's adorable and you know how much it tickles me. (;
The little things and actions of yours that always put a smile on my face.
Mwah!!
Mwah!!
Mwah!!
Mwah!!
Mwah!!

Given you about 500 kisses today? (;
Miss you dear..
About 3 more weeks to go.
I'm all excited and counting the days again.. (;