Marriage Humour

1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she

expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she

respects him.

2. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved

her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and

now he is going thru hell.

3. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wife

wanted ". Next day, he received a hundred letters. They all said the

same thing : "You can have mine."

4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,

you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

5. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just

watch him drive a

car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands

are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.

6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The

letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000 I swear that we

will kidnap your wife." The poor man wrote back, " I am afraid I can't

keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."

7. What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having

trouble with my wife." "What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to

speak to me for 30 days." "But that ought to make you happy." "It did,

but today is the last day."

WOMAN

When she is 18 - She is a football, 22 men going after

her. When she is 28 - She is a hockey ball, 8 men going after her. When

she is 38 - She is a golf ball, 1 man hitting on her. When she is 48 - She

is a pingpong ball, 2 men pushing to each other.

MAN

At 20 - A man is like a coconut, so much to offer, so little to give.

At 30 - He is like a durian, dangerous but delicious.

At 40 - He is like a watermelon, big, round and juicy.

At 50 - He is like a mandarin orange, the season comes once in a year.

At 60 - He is just like a raisin, dried out, wrinkles and cheap.

Marriage Humour In the beginning,

-- God created earth and rested. Then God created man

and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has

rested.