i miss you.

Words can't describe how much i miss you.
It's been two years
But the memories are still fresh in my mind.
It felt like it was only yesterday that you left us.
The tears we cried,
The sorrow in us,
The loneliness we felt,
All that's left are memories of you.
All those times you suffered,
And we were seldom there,
Due to the distance,
Communication was inconvenient.
Due to the lifestyle we led,
We hardly bothered to care.
But after all that's said,
I just want to tell you how much I love you.
To tell you how much I miss you.
And if I were to be given another day to be with you,
I'll wish that day would be today.
If I were to be granted one wish by an angel,
I'll wish for you to still be by our side.
Although you're resting peacefully,
Free from all the pains and suffering,
After all those years,
God had his own plans.
But it's reality.
Things happened for a reason.
I regret the day I wasn't by your side,
When you breathed your last.
To hold your hand,
To hug you warm,
To keep you company,
But it happened.
I wasn't there.
I know that I should had.
But I know that you wouldn't blame me either.
And I know that you're up there among the angels,
Among the stars,
Shining down on us everyday and every night.
Always watching us from afar.
And right now,
All I want to say,
Would be how much I love you,
And how much I miss the day you cradled me in your safe arms.
I love you granny.
And I wish you're still here.

Sorry for the sadness.
Can't help but to cry my heart out.

dumdididumdum =)

the cap looked horrendous.. but i managed to beautify it.. =D okay.. that's a little too ego. hehehe the cap was soooo cute! but i spoiled its looks with my ugliness and eventually, it came out even.. so it made a good picture. =P haha.

Ian called this underwear cap.. cause of its colour. haha but i think it's rather cute. the cap i mean. not me. =)




i feel like a korean wanna-be.. =X

but then again, XD

everyone has got their own fantasies.

hah! =P

in the simplicities of my life,

all i wanna do is dance.

okay maybe there's more to it.

i've finally played my piano again.

and i REALLY love playing Canon.

Cross my lil heart i can play it with my eyes closed,

mentally feeling the flow of the song.

goshhhh.. XD

hahaha okay..

i'm rather speechless..

so i'll just leave it here..

hehehe currently addicted to my blog's song.

atm, currently listening to DBSK. =)




P/S : i can't help the fact i've got small eyes. XD
besides, it's cute. =P *being a thick face* hah!



oh yea.. *BURPSSS!!!!* =P

me wants....

this little number..

i want it... =( even though i look fat in it..

this short short skirt revealing my fat bums..

this skirt..

home sweet home! hehehe =)

tired.

dancing is tiring. It practically leaves me exhausted. But it never gives me any reason not to blog. Even just a short post. As long as I updated right? =)

Anyway, classes are up to 5 days a week. I have approximately 10 hours of dance a week? Depending on what classes I join. Including kids' class. That's just how tiring I'm going to get. *huge sigh* However, I'm up up UP for it. Though, migraine's still killing me. =( And I've been eating A LOT and that's no joke. If I'll write down a table of what I've been eating, everyone would be shell-shocked too. =) Anyway, finally some WORDS in my blog post. As in, more than just pictures. =)

I guess I'm just gonna stop here first. I'm feeling hungry again. =(

F.Y.I, I ate more than enough today already. And I feel hungry still. *sigh* Oh well, goodnight for now. =)

Will update again a.s.a.p. Maybe later. But, it's undecided. So goodnight for now.

`loves

random.

waiting for rae.

sleeping.

notice there's actually a circle of light around me? hehehe.

feet.

raenai!!! she was trying to kiss me.. hehe.

raenai, ian, me!

rae darling.

ian.

going homeeee.

they say i look korean..

*smoooochhh*

i like this.

*trying to enlarge eyes*








i'm bored.. hehehe..

after shower,

mum : dad said you're in good mood these days. he said you have a boyfriend.
me : huh!?!? as ifff...
mum : really! ask your sis..
me : did he??
sis : *nods*
me : when??
sis : just now..
me : *laughs head off* then you didn't ask him who?
mum : nope..
me : hahahhaha oh my goodnessss... XD




my dad is funny.. =D

fly!

caryn's "model"

okay i look like a chicken.. a fat one.

i like this picture.

and this too.

oh yea. byung is a chicken too. XD

=)

=(

i want to dance.

i want.

to lie on my mummy's leg. =D

this skirt.

cos it's figure hugging and it doesn't reveal much. as in, you know how those short miniskirts always make your bottoms visible. =D

stilettos. =D

sis said, "oops i've been molested"

gah.

i'm so lazy to blog.

i miss playing swings.

*scratches head*

i'm addicted to aeroplanes.

i'm feeling lonely.

sigh sigh sigh.

somebody whack me.

smack me.

just wake me up.

=(

bah.

one whole week.



i miss you. =(

me.

ms LayNa : how come you're so quiet lately?
me : hmm?
ms LayNa : not like before anymore.
me : don't know.. hehe.
ms LayNa : not the charming Ivanna that I know anymore.
me : oh.. hehe..
ms LayNa : you're tired is it?
me : erm.. nope..
ms LayNa : or lovesick?
me : huh? nope.. no love.. ehhehe
ms LayNa : thought you're lovesick..
me : hehe nope.. if lovesick, would be because i miss you too.. haha
ms LayNa : Aiyer...



how true?
did i really change?
am i really
less happy as before?
i do sense it myself.
but i don't know how true it is either.
hugs anyone? =(

swing.

photo by ruffleseed. =)

tagged. double.

-link to your tagger and post these rules

tag number 1

by a-bogel latte. and kris.

-list 8 random facts about yourself and tag 8 people

1. i'm random.

2. i'm weight conscious. not as bad as before though. =)

3. i love all my friends. =)

4. i'm vain.

5. i'm getting lazy to text. =)

6. i'm lazy to eat and sleep. =)

7. i'm very grouchy when i'm sleepy and i don't get to sleep at all.

8. i'm always up and going. though, lately, people seem to think i'm less crazy. *shrugs*

i don't tag anyone. plus, i've done this before.

tag number 2

by kris.

First Name

Ivanna

Name you wish you had

Yvanna. *laughs*

Do people normally mistake your name

Iguana, Banana, Nana. =)

Birthday

=) June baby. Snakey.

Birthplace

Kuching.

Time of Birth

4.30 pm.

Parents together or divorced

all lovey.

Opposite Gender.

What color eyes

does it matter?

What color hair

anything but purple green pink or blue or fake wanna be blondie. =)

Shy or Outgoing

both.

Looks or personality

Personality.

Sexy or Cute

doesn't matter.

Serious or Fun
both.

Older or Younger than you

definitely older. even if it's just few days.

A turn on

how gentleman he gets. =)

A turn off

being a total jerk.

This Or That.

Flowers or Chocolate

can i have both? haha okay. neither.

Pepsi or Coke

plain water. =P

Rap or Rock

which ever. =)

Relationship or One night stand

relationship! duh.

School or Work

hmm.. dance? hehehe

Love or Money

love. money can't buy me happiness.

Movies or musics

both are fine. =)

Country or City

country?

Sunny or Rainy day

definitely, rainy. =)

Friends or Family

both.

Have you ever lied

you think?

Stole something

er.. does that include pillows and toys?

Smoked

never ever.

Hurt someone close to you

feels like i did.

Broke someones heart

yeah i guess so.

Had you heart broken

more than ever.

Wondered what was wrong with you

the last 8 months.

Wish you were a prince/princess

will i get prince william if i do?

Liked someone

you think?

Liked someone who was taken

maybe?

Shaved your head

nopes.

Been in love

yeah.

Used chopsticks

yep.

Sang in the mirror to yourself

nope.

Flower

=) doesn't matter.

Song

erm... random. =)

Scent

perfumes make me sneeze. but somehow, not colognes. =)

Color/s

red green black white blue yellow

Movie

anything but horrow.

Singer

none in particular.

Word

lol.

i tag, noone in particular. =)

Mission, Accomplished. =)

yes.

read my title.

my mission is accomplished.

well,

one of my missions anyway.

anyway,

that mission,

I FINALLY PLAYED THE REAL SWINGGG!!!!!!!
*the one with chains and a small seat*

it was FUN!!!!

though, i nearly died flew cause of someone.

anyway

i'm FULLY exhausted.

no pictures of today.

so, goodnight!





=)






P/S : i don't fancy The Spring at all. maybe not yet. but i think i'll prefer it over boulevard. =)

boredom.

boo-chak!! =D

*tilts head*

oh dear! what's that?? haha XD

oh, bluekss!!! =P

*peace*





overall, i feel lame.






I don't need you to
Tell me i'm pretty to make me feel beautiful
I don't need you to
Give me your strength to make me feel i'm strong
I got all of this strength that I need here
inside my own two hands
All that I want is your love and respect for who I am
What I really need
Comes from deep inside of me

Don't need you to tell me i'm pretty to make me feel beautiful
Don't need you to make me strong cuz i'm strong all on my own
Doesn't come from outside
This beauty I know
Comes from inside my soul

Don't need you to tell me I'm pretty






=)

dancing.

i feel like dancing whenever i listen to the song in my blog.

correction.

i DO dance when i listen to it.

=)

i'm random.

and i love to dance.

*starts singing too*

template change.

=)




i hate pink.




=)

my hair.

i went to cut my front hair. =)

somehow, i think i look more like a kid now. hehehe. it's still the same style but somehow it's just different than before. and i don't know why. hrmmmmmmmm..............

i should just shave my hair. =(

hmm.

i've decided to add labels to my posts. =)

Sick.

well, I'm not SICK as in ILL. It's just all in my head. Even an afternoon out didn't help. Furthermore, I felt worse than ever. Honestly speaking, I've not felt better since the last 8 months. Sometimes I just wanna break down and cry my heart out. But I can't do that in public and embarrass myself and just make myself a laughing stock or something. And I don't think crying when I'm out with my friends would be a good idea either cause I'll just ruin the atmosphere. I've been lying on the floor thinking every now and then. I've been sitting around staring into thin air. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just being ridiculous. But, I already know the answer to that. I just need to move on. I just need to erase everything in my head. Maybe I'll cross a highway soon and hopefully, I'll lose my memory and then I'll start a new life. =) And then again, it's easier said than done.

Promises are pie crust. I fully agree. All Most men are jerks. Life is not so beautiful.

If this world is just so full of love, I wouldn't be in this state. Of course, I have girl friends who love me[hopefully they do], my family, and most of all God's love. What else do I need? I can say that I'm happy. But truthfully I'm not. I don't feel complete. The only thing that's keeping me sane would be coming online and chatting with people or just texting around. Other than being down and depressed and looking like a walking zombie, I'm restless. I'm sleep deprived. Feeling this way is just making me suicidal. The more I think, the more I want to end things. Who's to be blamed but myself. I made really big mistakes and I'm just taking a long break learning my lesson. But it's just making me feel worse.

And right now, I just feel like hiding in a cave and not see the sun anymore.

All I wanna do is cry.

All I need is a hug to feel safe and warm.

I just wanna walk away and leave.

hmm.

abi, kris,
i'll do the tags later.
or..
maybe tomorrow. =)



i'm....





TIRED





my muscles...






ARE CRAMPED







all i wanna do right now....







DANCE =)







hehe i'm random.







goodnight. =)





*hugs and kisses*

exhaustion.

i'm exhausted from classes. =( my stamina is low. and work out is really tiring. and my tummy muscles feel overstretched. i feel like.. sleeping for a few days. hehe. though, i'm awfully hungry. =( guess i shouldn't have eaten a whole baby pineapple today for lunch. =X lalalalala........ =D


okay. i think i should stop blogging. i'm rather speechless and blank. i'm having a block head. =)
night night!




*hugs*
i miss my frens.. =(

because it's over and there's no turning back.
and i don't wanna remember any bitter memories.
but i'll still thank you for loving me all this while.
for showing me care.
for trying to understand me.
i know you didn't succeed fully.
but it's over.
no regrets though.
cause i have enough happy memories of you.
be it that you would want to forget me,
or treat me like you don't know me at all,
like what you always wanted to do,
i'll just let you know one thing.
i don't care at all.
not anymore. =)
we've learned our lessons.
i don't know about you.
but i'm sure i did.
i misjudged you.
all you did was hurt me from behind.
you know the truth.
and you're hiding it yourself.
but i'll take the blames.
therefore,
so long, goodbye, take care.
lastly,
thank you for everything. =)

boredom. =)

Guys cry because:
1. Girls screw them over.
2. They just got hit in the balls.

3. They're about to die.
4. Their heart is broken.
5. Because they are true men.

GIRLS: If you see a guy crying, hug
him close and hold him up as he gets
over the pain of getting kicked in the
nuts. Tell him he's not going to die,
and if he's crying over a girl, hug
him & kiss him and let him know you
won't screw him over and break his
heart like the last girl did. Guys
just want to know that our girls will
be there for us to support us when we
need them and help us get our mind off
the pain of heartbreak, getting kicked
in the balls, and knowing we're
going to die.



Girls cry because :
1. They're sad.
2. They're scared.
3. They're nervous.
4. They're frustrated.
5. They're missing someone.
6. They're alone.
7. They're PMSing.
8. They're pregnant.
9. Their heart is broken.
10. They're in love.
11. Their souls have been torn.
12. They met a boy they can't have.
13. They fell in love with a boy.
14. They hurt so bad inside.
15. They're mad.
16. Something bad happend.
17. Just because they feel like crying.
18. They're drunk.

BOYS: If any girl you know is crying
and you see them, don't just stand
there and say you're sorry. Hold them
and tell them everything will be okay,
even if you have no idea what is wrong
with them. Girls just want to be held
and know that someone cares about
them.

random.

i think i must be the most typical and random blogger EVER alive.

=)

i don't have much to blog about but i'm just blogging for the fun of blogging and the joy of updating.

=)

i'm wondering though,

should i cut my hair short?

or perm my hair?

or do nothing at all?




i don't think my hair needs any straightening.

so don't ask me. =)

maybe i should just shave my whole head bald?

that would be fun. XD

hehehehehe okay that was a joke. =)

i'm off. nightsies!






* huggies for everyone who reads and suggests *

sleepless nights.

what a girl like me gets up to doing at 3.47 in the morning. hehehe. okay, i'm just sleepless.
=)



waaaaaahhhhhh!!!

nyeks!!

trying to be vain.

that tongue.

rawr!! i'm gonna eat this heffalump!!

and you can't kiss it out of my mind.

nah, you always do. MWAHS!!




hehehe

i can't sleep

class started today

i feel like i've no stamina

so tiring but yeah

i just got to be used to it

cause holidays are over

i need to work out

and burn all the fat

and weight

that i gained over the last two weeks

=)






I FEEL FAT!!!





=(