bruises......

i have sooo many bruises.. the last time i counted i had 10.. now i think i have 12.. maybe more... sigh.. the reason..?? my blood ain't sticky enough.. somehow it runs from which side of the family i don't know at all.. my eldest sis gets the same thing too.. so, we bruise easily.. and sometimes we bruise for no reasons.. so the bruises that i got lately, i don't know where i got them from.. after dancing from 10 to 5 on monday, i came home to find myself having SEVEN bruises.. the worst one? i got on thursday.. it's the first 3 pics below... and i have absolutely NO idea how i got it.. i didn't fall down or knock into anything... how bad can i get...? sigh.. anyway.. it's late.. i wanna sleep.. nights! =D



when i got home yesterday.. [thursday]

after my bath before bed..

when i woke up.. horrid? =X

long ago.. i used to get this EVERY WEEK.. no jokes.. im serious..

yet, i still camwhore.. =D

my apple salad.. with ham slices..

my other salad with lettuce and spicy tuna.. yummy..

my two very reliable students.. =D they were the only 2 that came on sat..

love this dress.. but it's very "old" in a way.. i just love the way they made it look like a two piece clothing.. =D

my STRAWBERRY SMOOTHIE!!!!! i did it myself... extremely sour[no sugar added] yet smoothing and nice... i LOVE strawberries... =D







i love u more than strawberries..
you know who you are..
=)

tagged.

Here are the rules:

1. Each blogger must post these rules first.
2. Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.


8 facts about ME:

• i love to cut myself up
• i'm vain
• i'm lazy
• i love my friends
• i'm pathetic and depressed
• i SMS like there's no tomorrow
• i enjoy torturing myself
• i love to dance my heart out

my 8 lucky picks

• dexter
• jason
• eric
• amber
• emily yii
• gerald
• caleb
• anyone who's bored

why....

why do i have to be jerked around all the time.


do men have to be jerks?
is that the way to treat a girl who cares.

why are things always going wrong for me.



why can't my wounds heal.
why can't i ever stop bleeding.






i don't have a heartbeat anymore.
i'm an empty shell.
all out of place.
all out of love.


i might as well die.
at least my sufferings will end that way.

depression..

painful..? not really..

on my tummy..


why...? why i hurt myself...? the reason can't be explained.. it's just recent.. things happen for a reason.. but mine, has many reasons.. by hurting myself, i'll feel less pain deep down inside.. i'm all torn.. i feel so broken.. if only i have someone who would understand the way i feel inside.. =(



some pictures taken 2 nights ago.. tossed and turned but i just couldn't sleep.. i was tired.. but no, my mind just won't rest..



getting some sleep at last..

peaceful sleep..

still trying to sleep..





i'm still trying to sleep.. trying to close my eyes, rest my mind, fall into a deep slumber, waking up the next morning, feeling much better, n happier, but no.. i can't.. i'm so lost.. i'm so confused.. by what...? i don't know.. maybe suleen's right... i'll regret what i've done to myself.. but i know i won't.. i just need one thing.. only one.. and i don't know what it is either.......